i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
