Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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