did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
