If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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