Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
