Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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