I'm laying in your front yard are you home
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
