So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
