I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
