Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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