i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
