What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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