your thong is hanging out like whoa
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
