no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i think im in europe. pls send help
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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