I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
