Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
