I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
