drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
