tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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