I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
