the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
