On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We were destined to go to rehab together
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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