i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
