he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
