umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
