a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
