need another drink. this is the easiest way
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
