So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
