We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
