she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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