I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
