he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
