It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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