I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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