Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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