remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
