Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
