If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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