shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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