Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize