Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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