They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
