please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
