all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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