Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
