I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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