dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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