I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
