That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize