Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
