Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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