she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
