Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
