well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
