i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
