I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
