I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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