A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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