I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
