My underwear smells like fireworks.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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