Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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