He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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