He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
