She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
