Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
