well I can't set my house on fire every night
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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