I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We need to get me chipped asap
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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