I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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