i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize