he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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