guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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