Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize