i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
