You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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