is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
