About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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