Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
