you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
