Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
